she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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