he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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