I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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