ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I wish I only lived at night.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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