It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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