I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
