I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
