ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
