Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
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Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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