oh god the rape fog is back!
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
