my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.