the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
