WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize