i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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