There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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