I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
