I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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