Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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