I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
