Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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