What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
