The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He shit in the fireplace
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
