Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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