I need help removing her.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Randomize
