Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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