the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize