I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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