I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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