For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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