i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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