R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
