My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
