Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i think my mom watched the whole time
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
