Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
