i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
