I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
