I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
