shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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