Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
