sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
