She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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