We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
