At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
