You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
