can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
