were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
