So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
