I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
