Already got asked if we're dating
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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