I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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