I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize