we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
