i already hear my dad disowning me
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
