he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
