HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
