she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
