My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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