Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
