i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
