Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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