found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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