2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He felt like a one man threesome
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
