put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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