i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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