Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
